Ultimate DM Screen of Dooooom!

By Wizards of the Coast & Alliance Game Distributors

Show them who’s boss!

A quick note from your host:
There are plenty of other cool reviews on this site!
Read them, too!

The other day Gamer Bling got a note from Michael Webb, VP at Alliance, bon vivant, and tireless moderator for big huge SWCMG games at Origins. It tells of an impending way-cool 4e promotion for D&D to irresistably promote in-store play. And it’ll work.

This amazing promotion is <SFX: drum roll>: The Ultimate DM Screen of Dooooom!

But you may have guessed that already, based on the title of this review.

But of course, this isn’t a review yet, it’s just a teaser, because the aforementioned item will not be available until June of this year.

With the exasperated permission of the aforementioned long-suffering Mr. Webb, who has to put up with wheedling from Gamer Bling on a regular basis, Gamer Bling reprints the announcement here.

Play… With STYLE!

This June, players will be rushing to your store to buy the newest edition of the premier fantasy roleplaying game, Dungeons and Dragons™. Now you can invite them to stay and play in style.

Alliance Game Distributors is teaming up with Wizards of the Coast to bring retailers this exclusive 3-d Hand-painted Castle DM Screen. This unique piece instantly brands a table in game room as D&D territory and will be the envy of players and DMs. It is cast in 3 pieces so it can adapt easily to any table size or layout, and has shelves and storage space on the DM side to hide miniatures and stat cards from wandering eyes. The gatehouse towers double as dice rollers - one that empties behind the screen for secret rolls, and one that empties into the player’s area for public rolls.

Best of all, the screen can be yours FREE for ordering 4E from Alliance!

While supplies last, we will be providing one WOC CASTLE D&D DM Screen Castle Promo free to retail stores that preorder and take delivery on release of 3 cases (36 units) of WOC 2173672 D&D 4E Players Handbook, and 2 cases each (24 copies each) of WOC 2175072 D&D 4E Dungeon Masters Guide and WOC 2172072 D&D 4E Monster Manual.

Contact your Alliance Game Distributors sales rep TODAY! Supplies are limited, operators expire while you wait! Don’t have an Alliance rep? We can correct that deplorable situation – simply contact Mike Webb, VP of Marketing and Customer Service at mew@alliance-games.com or 800-NOW-GAME x1005!

And, of course, there were pictures. Gamer Bling will share one with you because you are a cool person, being defined as “someone who reads this blog.”

So now Gamer Bling is rapidly investigating the efforts involved with opening a game store and getting 36 peons people to pre-order PHBs (24 of which must get the whole trilogy of books, and 12 of whom can be relative slackers). In response, he will allow said customers to gaze lovingly at the screen when it arrives.

Once.

Well, okay, once per book they ordered.

So, until Gamer Bling gets his hands on one of these babies and has the opportunity to whip it through its paces, you’ll have to be content with this little preview.

Go tell your store to preorder today. And if you want to have a prayer of getting one of these yourself, here’s your play: “If, you know, anything else happens to ship with those books—posters, window clings, or any other 4e promotional item—I’ll happily take it off your hands for, say, $20. Deal?”

And get a signature.

* * *

Twenty days ago, Gamer Bling posted the above, and lots of people came to this site to see it. Only a minority of those read any of the other reviews, though, which is, frankly, their loss, because Gamer Bling indulges in the best of RPG excessories. And, unlike this screen, the other stuff is avilable to the general public. So, to those curiosity seekers, Gamer Bling says this: don’t covet this screen; just admire it and then go browsing for other stuff you can have.

In any event, Gamer Bling now has a sharp photo of the DM’s side of the Ultimate DM Screen of Dooooom! And he will share it here:

As near as Gamer Bling can tell the three pieces are:
• one wall with decorative tower and player’s dice tower,
• one wall with decorative tower and DM’s dice tower, and
• center piece with gate on the outside.

Each has two shelves. The ones on the side pieces appear to have a little lip to help hold stat cards in place. No one wants your stat cards sliding off and landing in your salsa when someone’s die hits your Ultimate DM Screen of Dooooom! Well, okay, maybe the players would if the monster in question is kicking their butts all over the vinyl grid map.

The center piece has two shelves for miniatures. The top one even allows the figures to be seen by the enemies players, so they can be part of your epic fights. Curiously, the inside of the center section does not have the castle gates… an unfortunate oversight, in Gamer Bling’s opinion. But even the most jaded gamer wouldn’t look this gift horse in the mouth.

As near as Gamer Bling can tell, the side walls are 8″ high, the towers are roughly 12″ high, and the all-important center section is 10″ high.

That’s a lots of faux stone to hide the foes.

That’s all for now. Perhaps another leak will come before these are available. Perhaps not. In the meantime, go browse and enjoy.

Weak Points

The sole weak point at this moment is that Gamer Bling does not yet have it in his hands. It’s vaporware.

The Bottom Line

ZOMG!

Summary

Bling Factor: 10
Quality: TBD
Utility: TBD
Price: Either $1,614.69 (the cost of the goods needed to garner one, assuming a 45% retail discount) or $0.00 (since, technically, it’s free). Gamer Bling will buy any loose Ultimate DM Screens of Dooooom for the latter price.
You need: One. Definitely.

E-tail

Yeah, right.

The Future

Michael Webb of Alliance assures Gamer Bling that other, even cooler promotions are in the works. Gamer Bling finds that very hard to believe.

But he never saw this one coming, either.