Know the Plan

Yeah, it’s been a long time since Gamer Bling has updated his website. But at least when he failed to keep his New Year’s resolution, it was a Critical Failure, and not a limp noodle failure of the everyday kind.

Between trying to put together an Internet business; laying out a catalog; editing, proofing, and laying out a book; working on some novel proposals; prepping for and attending a tradeshow in Dallas; beginning playtesting on a new game he has designed; and several other projects including a couple of redecoration projects mandated by The Gamer Bling Official Companion, there was no room left for this wonderful blog.

Which is doubly pathetic because Gamer Bling has a bit of a backlog of stuff to review.

But not everything goes according to plan, no matter how carefully you plan it.

And none of this stuff was unexpected, but Gamer Bling did not make enough allowance, which goes back to prove that an incompetent friend (or self) is more dangerous than a competent enemy.

Consider, for example, one of Gamer Bling’s gaming buddies.

In our most recent adventure, we, a pathetic group of misfits that passes for an adventuring party in most Eberron campaigns, came face to face with a small fortified group of drow.

Well, face to wall. Because they were behind a wall. Because they were fortified. And they had roofs on their towers, because they were drow.

So how to penetrate the defenses?

Well, we could have Larz, the self-described “bad-ass” go and whack the reinforced wooden gate with his massive sledgehammer with a 7-foot handle (apparently Larz has to compensate for other, um, shortcomings) until pointy little arrows and spells made him look like an ineffective damage sponge and we all had to go save him and we got in a big fracas and somehow we got through it.

Or we could have a plan.

And Gamer Bling came up with one. And we all worked it out and went over it twice while hiding in the security of the nearby woods.

Gamer Bling, being the masochistic suicidal fun-loving mentally unbalanced player that he is, has a halfling conjuror. And he had one use of benign transposition, and one open spell slot of that same level, which he also assigned to that spell.

So the plan was this: the artificer enchants his own armor with concealment or something, which makes him all but undetectable until he attacks. Gamer Bling casts spider climb on him, and he quickly scales the wall and hides under one of the towers.

Gamer Bling’s crafty halfling conjuror, who, it should be noted, is one level shy of being an elemental savant, then benignly transposes himself with the artificer, and then does so again with Larz the half-bad shifter pincushion. The artificer returns quickly, and then climbs the ladder into the tower undetectably. He attacks, and Larz the huge shifter who’s as stealthy as a Mack truck and as durable as a 1970s Ford Pinto, follows quickly. They dispatch the guards, perhaps with a little ranged-attack help from the rogue and conjuror.

Overall, not a bad plan.

Except that, right before Gamer Bling’s conjuror transposed with Larz the Unsubtle, our partner party member box of Band-Aids soon-to-be-not-at-all-our-BFF cleric cast flaming weapon on Larz’s warhammer.

Cue collective facepalm from everyone in the group.

Worse yet, he used a spell slot in such a manner that it increased our collective need for healing, which, since he used said slot, he has less of.

And that’s where the action paused. Larz, alone, at the bottom of a ladder with a 7-foot-long sledge with a flaming head and some drow somewhere in the fort yelling, “Hey!”

We’ll see what happens next.

Like maybe a new review?


~ by Gamer Bling on 28 April 2009.

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