Dragon Chow Dice Bags

By Mousch

Bag Lady

Pffft! 2d6 is so passe.In the realm of recreational tabletop gaming—as opposed to gambling, which some refer to as “gaming” in a lame effort to make it sound less appealing appalling—there has been a lot of surprising entrepreneurial growth in recent years.

In fact, Gamer Bling is always pleased to see several things:

  • Loyal readers and new manufacturers (or vice versa),
  • Blingy new businesses making a go of it, and
  • Hot chicks in string bikinis.

Of course, none of these items has carte blanche in Gamer Bling’s scales of appreciation.

For example, Gamer Bling does not want to make the acquaintance of questionable companies akin to the manufacturers of the infamous “Bucket o’ Crap” gaming excessory.

And Gamer Bling hates to see companies make a go of a business that is doomed to imminent failure. Gamer Bling is reminded of a recent board game launch… the game covered questionable (or, to many, downright objectionable) material and had a triple-digit price tag. Very limited market for that one, Gamer Bling assures you. He will not deign even to mention its name.

And, of course, bikinis, like spandex, are not an inalienable human right inasmuch as many practitioners of spandexery infringe upon Gamer Bling’s right to the pursuit of happiness, let alone his right to being able to live life without wanting to claw his eyes out and bleach his brain, If she makes him scream, and he makes you scream...good grief WHAT was she thinking when she donned the slave Leia costume?!?

Yes, there were many such instances at Dragon*Con during the Dawn Look-Alike Contest. Mental whiplash from the very good to the very very bad was astounding. And no, Gamer Bling does not subscribe to Linsner’s theory that Dawn is all women and that all shapes are beautiful. Otherwise Baron Harkonnen would be studly.

Fortunately for Gamer Bling, today’s review fits two of the three facets of Gamer Bling happiness, which is to say:

Even though the manufacturer appears to be (a) female, (b) Canadian, (c) a college chick, and (d) a Leo, being born a mere five calendar days after Yours Truly, there is no photographic evidence available with respect to her hawtness, let alone her bikini bling factor. Of course, in Canada, bikinis are rarely seen, since it is so freakin’ cold almost all the time—Gamer Bling does not jest about this; when he worked at BioWare, the first snowfall was in bleedin’ AUGUST—and when the bikinis do come out, the wearers are even more pale than Seattlites in Spring, who in turn are paler than the underside of a slug. Gamer Bling knows. He once gave his poor mother flash burns the first time he took off his shirt one fine day in May in the rarely seen Seattle sun.

  • Gamer Bling has gotten to know Dragon Chow, and
  • Dragon Chow is making a go of an excessory business.

So we will leave the string bikini factor as an exercise for the reader’s twisted imagination, which is to say that Gamer Bling must venture no further down this mental corridor, inasmuch as the Gamer Bling Official Companion is reading over his shoulder and Gamer Bling would never ever EVER look at another woman, no matter how hawt or bikini-stringy she might be.

Because pretending you’re blind works better, anyway.

All that sexism aside, let’s look at today’s offering, shall we?

Sad little Canuck flower child.Dragon Chow’s official Etsy website says this: “As a geek girl, though, I could never quite find a dice bag I liked. There were too many motifs that I just didn’t find fashionable and on top of that there were a lot of bags made out of cheap fake velvet or other poor materials…”

Gamer Bling can commisserate. He never drank Crown Royal, he was never a skull-toting skate punk, and he doesn’t play Warhammer in any of its various incarnations. He’s not into ankhs, pentagrams, or Cthulhu kitsch. So yeah, give Gamer Bling some different fashion.

Then one fine day Gamer Bling opened his mail to find another letter bomb a nice bag from Dragon Chow, being a sample for his reviewsement.

Fashionwise, this particular bag has a more or less stock fantasy pattern on one side, that being a pattern of stars and swirls rendered in light and medium blue upon a dark blue background (i.e., the sort of stuff that the Merlin archetype wears in really bad fantasy movies). Wait—did Gamer Bling say “one side”? Why did he not specify the inside or outside? Because, dear friends, these bags are reversible!

Well, okay, so are the chainmail ones, but they look the same either way. The Dragon Chow bags look both nice and different when reversed!

In this particular case, Gamer Bling’s bag has a nice, more esoteric pattern on the inside, this being a vaguely samurai pattern of pale-blue swirls set against sky blue. Crane blue, for those of you who, like Gamer Bling, are fans of Legend of the Five Rings. And yes, this is the sort of pattern that Gamer Bling might use when painting his next Crane shugenja.

The reversibility has been handled very nicely. All seams are turned inward on both sides, and the drawstring (which shall be described shortly) comes out the very top of the seam at the bag’s opening, not out the side, so that the bag truly is completely reversible. Gamer Bling looked long and hard and could not find any demonstrable way to prove that one side was “inside” and one was “outside” during construction.

Store dice. Or chips. Or bacon. Mmmm... bacon...While the patterns on Gamer Bling’s bag were ordinary (if fashionable), other neat and more esoteric patterns are available, like green floral for druids, musical scores for foppish bards, or the periodic table of snacks for barbarians. Gamer Bling kids you not.

The bag Gamer Bling has measures 9 cm x 9 cm x 11 cm, thereby missing entirely the digitally consistent length of 10 cm (aka 1 decimeter). This is because Canada likes to pretend they’re on the metric system, but deep down they really want to be back on the Imperial system. Gamer Bling knows this because they still sell apples by the Imperial dozen—nowhere in Canada did he find a single retailer selling apples by the metric ten—and when they sell dry goods, it’s always priced at so much money per 454 grams (i.e., one pound). Yeah… 45.4% of a kilo… that’s a nice round measurement, isn’t it? Hey, everyone uses 227/500… it’s a common fraction.

The bags are fashioned in a boxy shape (as were many of the contestants at the aforementioned Dawn Look-Alike Contest), with seams at each of the side corners, all meeting at an X-shaped seam across the bottom. Gamer Bling is therefore given pause to wonder whether or not there might be a way to make these bags without seams on each of the four corners, but he supposes that doing so would make them stand less straight.

Which is one of the selling points that Dragon Chow stresses. These bags, once opened, do not flop over like someone who just drained a bottle of Crown Royal to get a new dice bag. They stand upright, like a paladin, and quietly contain your dice so they do not go exploderizing across the gaming table.

Gamer Bling remains a fan of dumping out all his dice in a big pile, but that is due, in part, to having a large table for gaming. He supposes that in certain Third-World countries, poor college gamer chicks must game on small round tables in the student center, and need fashionable dice containment.

The drawstring is fairly lightweight, though it is nonetheless of durable make with a friction lock and tied into a knot at the end. Think lightweight camping accessories. More than adequate for dice-slinging duties.

Aside from all that, the stitching is evenly done with reinforcement in all the right places. It should last well throughout all the standard gaming abuse it will take, and has the advantage of being washable (air dry).

Weak Points

Gamer Bling would have liked to see more reinforced stitching at key areas. He is unsure whether or not this would actually make a difference, since the bag has yet to be stress-tested, but he makes the comment nonetheless. We shall see how the Dragon Chow dice bag holds up to the subtle ministrations of Gamer Bling Expansion #1, who will own it shortly.

Also, the amount of space allowed for the drawstring seems excessive compared to the relatively light weight of the cord used. Yeah, that’s petty and nitpicky, but petty and nitpicky is what you pay Gamer Bling for.

Not that anyone actually pays Gamer Bling, mind you. He wishes they would.

And, finally, if you’re a skull-toting, Warhammer-playing, ankh-necklaced, pentagram-tattooed, Cthulhu-kissing skate punk, you’re not likely to find any patterns that fit your vibe and help you get your groove on. You will not be down wit dat, nor roll wit dat, nor hit dat, nor any other uncomfortable mental imagery that may come to mind.

The Bottom Line

They’re inexpensive handmade dice bags that stand up and are reversible to match your mood. They’re handmade, so you can get them in any size or pattern you can negotiate. She even had a divided dice bag so you could keep your crystal metal dice from mixing with your Q-Workshop dice. And buying these bags sends money to poor, starving, hawt Canadian coed gamer chicks in Third-World countries!

These are perfect for the gamer grrl in your life.

Cuz us Giis don’t need bags that change with our mood. Being male = one mood, all the time.

Summary

Bling Factor: 8
Quality: 8-9
Utility: 8
Price: $5.50 – $13.00 and up
You need: One. Or more.

E-tail

E-tail is the only way top go, here, folks. Just to go her Etsy site and buy away! And be sure to tell her Gamer Bling sent you. But she’s not out of college yet, so be sure to type it slowly so she understands.

The Future

Honestly, she’ll probably graduate college, get a real job, find a non-gaming boyfriend, and drop this hobby like a rock. How sad.

Bonus Expanded Expansion Coverage

Since this bag will end up in the hands of Gamer Bling Expansion #1, whom Gamer Bling is frantically trying to turn into a geek at the same time as The Almighty is inexorably turning her into a woman (via, currently, the dreaded tweener stage), Gamer Bling has prevailed upon her to write a better review than she did last time. And here it is, presented without fatherly editing, and with her own art.

Yes, Gamer Bling stole her line about different outfits. Gamer Bling’s mind just doesn’t work that way.

My father gave me a little blue dice bag. This dice bag is reversible. It is bright blue with swirls on one side and royal blue with stars on the other. It can hold something about 4in x 2.5in x 2in. It’s best at holding dice, money, or other small items.

I like how this bag is reversible and will go with more than one outfit. I don’t like how it’s hard to get the draw strap even. I also don’t like how you have to grab the draw strap to carry it around.

Witness the raw graphic powah of MS Paint!

This cute bag is good for both boys and girls, because my little brother liked it too! (I think he mostly liked the fact that it was reversible.) I think it’s okay around infants, because it’s pretty sturdy and hard to pull apart. If you’re looking for a bag that will go with most anything, buy this. If you want a purse or book bag, look elsewhere.

(Obviously, Gamer Bling must work on her crass humor. Three paragraphs and not a single booger joke.)

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